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In the end, if the guy is the keeper you say he is then go with your gut. Like Suha, I have also been married almost 28 years and have done pretty much everything myself for so, so long. That will most likely be the deal breaker for her. Note, her mind and TSCC were married first. Break up with her. I'd suggest the essays. The date night strategy is a great idea, and we have tried it, but he is sometimes on call every other night for a month and it makes it tough the nights he's on call he likes to be home just in case and the nights he's not on call, he needs to sleep in case he's up all night the following night. During "Netflix and chill" the other night, I noticed there was a documentary about mormons.
If you marry him, you are committing to accepting him without the church and all that this entails. All of which will remind her that she wants you to convert so you can be together for eternity. If you both comfortable having different faiths, your relationship can still be rewarding and fulfilling. There have been times in my marriage where I have been frustrated and angry by his lack of change.